Re-discovering pastel

For nearly four years, I worked almost exclusively in soft pastel.  I had stopped using it for several reasons, but the main reason was that I became tired of the cost and effort of framing.  A couple of nights ago, I pulled my soft pastels out once more.  I have been enjoying working with them, and I thought I would share a couple of the paintings with you.  As you can see, these are a continuation of my series of paintings of the Joshua Tree.  Each tree has a distinctive, unique shape, which is emphasized by the silhouette against an evening sky. 

Grand Finale.  Pastel on paper, 10 x 8 inches.

Last Rays.  Pastel on paper, 10 x 8 inches.

I am busy getting new work ready for the fall opening of JTAG in Joshua Tree.  We will have an opening on Friday, September 3rd from 6 to 9 pm.  I am most likely going to show a collection of drawings, but that is subject to change, since I cannot seem to make up my mind what to show.  I also have to prepare for October, when I will be traveling to Ventura, California for Arts in the Park there on October 16th and 17th.  The following weekend is the weekend I will be opening my studio for the Open Studio Art Tours here in Joshua Tree.  I have a lot of work to do!  So if you are wondering at my long silences, it is because I am sticking to a strict regimen of painting, painting, painting.

Cold and Windy

Another cold and windy day - we even got more rain last night.  Strange desert weather.  The lizard in me is ready for hot summer sunshine and 100 degrees, but it looks like I will have to wait a while for anything like that.  For now, I continue drinking hot tea and wearing knee high wool socks.

Yesterday was spent organizing the studio a little bit.  It needs more organizing than I gave it, but I am the first to admit that cleaning, organizing and throwing things away is not one of my strong points.  I am improving, but with tiny, baby steps.  I find that I go in to begin sorting and while I am sorting, I discover something I wanted to paint or finish painting, and of course that is more fun that sorting, so I do that!  So this was what distracted me yesterday:

  This is a little 8 x 10 inch pastel of a clump of Joshua Trees.

It is supposed to be sunset, but now that I see it as a photo, I realize I need to tweak the values a bit more.  It looks better in person.

We found out Monday that my husband, who is a pilot for UPS, will be getting furloughed in May.  We have known that this was a serious possibility for some time, so it wasn't a total surprise.  We have been saving money and stockpiling necessities.  However, this may mean that I go look for a job somewhere, and put the art on a back burner.  I am grateful that he and I are both really good with money, and that we have been able to prepare.  I know that others have not had that opportunity, and my heart goes out to them.  

Thunder is booming outside, and I am gearing up for another day in the studio.  No organizing today.  

Happy Wednesday, all you lovely blog readers! 

More of the figure

I have been working exclusively on the figure for the past two weeks. I am on my second self portrait, and this one is in oil. I think it is beginning to resemble me, a bit. I am not sure I am ready to post it, but maybe by tomorrow I will feel a bit better about that. Instead, here is a charcoal drawing from yesterday. I struggled on this one!

Oh, and I guess you can see the final version of the pastel self portrait. It isn't too much different, but at least I have eyebrows now. Too tired to write more.

Look Mom, no eyebrows!

Here is the self portrait after day 2. Still, I do not believe it is done, because not only do I not have any eyebrows, but also, there is something wrong with that left eye. There is more in it than that to work on, but at the moment, those are the glaringly obvious issues. I am tired of wearing the same tank top, so today I decided to wear a similar one, and wash the one I was wearing. Then, if I need it again tomorrow (let's hope not), at least it will be clean. I suppose I could do what most artists I know do: rather than sitting in front of a mirror, they take a photograph self portrait and use the photograph as a reference, rather than the image in the mirror. I don't know why I don't do that, except to say that I really get bored working from a photograph. The photograph never moves, never changes expression, never needs a bathroom break. It is much too demanding a task master. I like the live, actual person, be it me or an obliging model. Then, we need to take breaks, move around. Get back into the pose and move slightly, so that I have to redraw the hand, or maybe the eyes are more interesting this time. The head tilt is different, so now I have to deal with that change. This is what I enjoy about life drawing. It is like life - ever changing and demanding that we deal with those changes. For me, it is much closer to the truth.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend! Go eat watermelon with seeds (do they still sell that kind?) and spit the seeds out! Just like you did when you were a kid. If you didn't do it as a kid, you really need to do it, cuz it is fun.

The Self Portrait

It's Thursday, so tonight there is another two hour drawing session with a model. It is so important for me to draw, and draw often. It makes a difference in all of my art, whether it be abstract or figurative.

This week, I am working on a self portrait, which hopefully will turn out well enough to enter in a juried competition I have been thinking about. This is what I have so far, but it is obviously not done yet. I have given myself more hair than I really have, because as an artist you can do things like that. You see? There are advantages to being an artist!

I took a few photos of pencil cholla last night. The sun was setting, so all the light was that last little glow before the sun disappeared. This is pencil cholla, but it is not nearly as dangerous to dog paws as the silver cholla. That is the stuff that seems to be everywhere, and the spines get stuck in dog toes and people toes. Ouch!

This is going to be a short post, since I am itching to get in the studio. Have a super day, all!

The psychology of a painting

I have neglected my blog terribly! I used to be so faithful with my posts. I don't know what has happened to me. I will make a concerted effort to write more often. The good news is that I have been painting. I organized a 4 hour drawing/painting session with a wonderful model on Saturday. We met here, at the new house. There were only 3 artists, but the intimacy of the group was actually very nice. I think everyone enjoyed themselves.

I did not finish my pastel painting, but I did take a photograph, so I think I will be able to finish it from that. Here is what I did.
I was working on a dark reddish paper, and as you can see, the left hand part of the painting is quite unresolved. I will try to post it, if I can get a bit more resolution.

I find that I tend to fight with my art quite a lot. I am not one of those painters who merrily paints or draws away. I struggle, I agonize. I believe it is part of the process for me. All of my inner turmoil seems to come to the surface, and makes itself known. Sometimes, it seems as though the paint is actually blood, drawn from my veins, painfully creating the image on the surface of the canvas or paper. This may sound rather exaggerated or dramatic to some of you, but I am trying to describe what the experience is like for me. That is how it feels! You might be wondering why I continue, with an experience like this. I will admit, there are times when I ask myself the same question. Yet, there is a catharsis to the release. I can honestly say that there is nothing that makes me feel the way creating art makes me feel. I need that feeling.

I think part of what comes out when painting is my own insecurity. I have such doubt and fear that I can create a painting that I will like, or that anyone will like, for that matter. "Why is this important?", I ask myself. It is important because I want validation. All the time and money I spend on making art needs some kind of justification for me. After all, it has taken up the bulk of my life, this obsession. You can't spend nearly 15 years of your life on something without needing some kind of progress report, some kind of pat on the back. But even after 15 years, I always doubt my capability as an artist. That insecure part of me fights with another part of me, who has confidence, even a bit of arrogance about my own ability. I don't think either side of me really wins, per se. Each side may score a "point" from time to time, but I think most of the battles end in a tie.

When I look at my work, I can see this conflict, this tug of war. I think it makes the art more honest, because I reveal all of myself. Not just the confident part, who knows I can do it. But that other, more fragile part, with all its doubts and fears. Isn't this really how all of us are, when we allow ourselves to see it? Perhaps it is the reason I love to paint human beings so much. I know, intimately, what it is to be a human being.