Running

It is cold.  I have gloves on, and something to cover my ears.  One foot in front of the other, again and again.  I run up the hill.   Pono is beside me, then in front of me, then he stops to sniff and falls behind.  He will catch up; he always catches up.  The air is crisp, but there is no wind.  One foot in front of the other.  Faster now, then slower.  I like to vary my pace, to see every now and again what it feels like to go all out.  Does it feel like flying?  Sometimes.  Does it feel like agony?  Sometimes.  I keep running.  I run because I need to breathe hard.  I need to feel my muscles working.  If I take too many days off from my running, I become sluggish and the stresses seem to build up within me.  I run because I like to sweat.  I run so my dog doesn't bug me all day with his restlessness.  I run.

I don't run every day.  I don't run that fast.  Sometimes, I don't even go very far.  It's just enough to be outside, breathing hard in the outside air.  Yet there are times when I feel like I need to run and run and run.  I want to push myself really hard, and be tired.  I want my legs to ache a little, when I go to bed that night.  I want to feel it.  I want to feel the sweat as it runs down my face.  Maybe it's because I ate too much sugar.  Or maybe it is just because life seems so hard sometimes.  At least I know when I am running, some of those things that drag me down are being left behind.  If I run, I know those things haven't stopped me.  If I run fast enough, they can't catch me.  It is good to have that feeling, even if it doesn't last.  When you come back from a run, you feel light, like you can float.   

Once I was running fast in deep sand, and something caught my eye, just for a moment.  I tripped, and went down hard.  My knee took the brunt of the fall, but I knew better than to look at the damage before I got home.  If you see the blood, it hurts more.  Did you know that?  It's true!  If you don't see the blood, you can pretend it isn't there, and you can run all the way home before you sit down and let one single tear fall down your cheek.  You fall down, and you get back up.  You are injured, but you will heal, and the next thing you know, you are out there running once more. 

Reunited

I have just returned home, after driving to the Front Range yesterday. I had to drop off the accepted entry to the Lincoln Center for the NCAA juried show. (see blog entry from March 2nd) The drop off was actually today, from 9 am to noon, but I knew I wasn't going to make that, so my one and only friend in Fort Collins, Kirk Johanson, agreed to help me out. I brought the drawing to him yesterday, and he took the piece to the Lincoln center for me today. I haven't seen Kirk in probably 20 years or more. My family and Kirk's family were friends when we were growing up in Rapid City, SD. Kirk and I used to spend a lot of time together, hiking and reading books. Fun to see him after all this time. He is married to a beautiful blonde wife, with three beautiful blonde children. He is now our mortgage broker. Thanks, Kirk!!

After Pono and I went to Fort Collins, we drove to my parents house in Highlands Ranch (a suburb of Denver, for those of you who don't know). We spent the night with the parental unit. This morning, I woke up before light (thanks to the dog/alarm clock) and took Pono for a walk in a misty rain. There was no one out, save cottontails and tons of earthworms. Those earthworms were stretched out on the sidewalk, and I spent the majority of the walk trying not to step on them. Pono, however, had no such concerns. He stepped on quite a few. After breakfast, a la Dad, we got ready and drove to the airport to pick up My LONG LOST husband!!! Matthias has some time off from his training with Cathay Pacific, so he is HOME!!! We are reunited, and let me tell you, it feels GREAT! It's been one month since I have seen him.

I have to tell you about a dream I had last night. I dreamed that the artist who won "best of show" in the aforementioned juried show had cut carrots and celery into sticks. It was an installation that looked like a section in a grocery store, with refrigerated shelves lined with these sticks of celery and carrots. That was the art that won best of show. I was so ANGRY!!! I kept saying, "how can they win best of show for cutting up vegetables! That doesn't take talent!" Pretty funny. Dreams are extremely strange.

Tomorrow, it looks like I might get to do some more circus training, and then either Monday or Tuesday, Matthias and I are off to the airport once again, to fly to LA, and look for our new house. I hope we find something! Wish us luck.