Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Completion escapes me
Another day, and I was SUPPOSED to be painting all day. Instead, I am circling the paintings, finished and unfinished, like a hungry wolf wanting a man's meat but not his proximity. Circling, circling... do I really think I will solve ANYTHING this way??? Sheesh. Finally, after way to much of this circling bit, I decided I needed to do something more casual, more playful, more fun. So I decided to begin a Valentine or two.
Of course, everything is about process for me. I can't just sit down with a blank card and some paint and make a Valentine. Noooooo, I am going to make cardboard hearts, stars, flowers and a crescent moon. I am going to apply gesso to some things. Then, I am going to circle THAT, too!!!! Thank goodness I had laundry to do, or I would have felt like my whole day was nothing more than some kind of endless merry-go-round.
I suppose I could give some excuses. Like the one where I say I just found out that my husband, who has already been gone for too long, isn't going to come home until the 11th. I had hoped he was coming home this Thursday. There's that excuse. I could also use the one where I tell you about how my sinuses are driving me NUTS here, and I am pretty sure there is something in the high desert I am allergic to. There's that excuse. I could also use the excuse that I am feeling a little bit of cabin fever, and I should attempt to go out in public very soon. I mean, I have a lot of excuses. Frankly speaking, what it boils down to is just plain, old procrastination. I have always had trouble completing paintings. I can have 20 paintings in progress, and fight to finish and sign my name to ONE. It's true. I have gotten a lot better about finishing, but it's obvious that I am not cured.
The painting at the top of this post is one of the paintings I have been circling. Oil on canvas, it's about 18 x 24" or so. I have reworked it now several times, and still I am not sure if it is done. I think it is. I think. Maybe. Or maybe the blue has to go. I can't think about it anymore!!!